Dear brothers and sisters,
There have been moments in my ministry here when someone has said to me, very gently, “Father, may I tell you something?”
I have to admit that my first reaction was not always gratitude. Sometimes my immediate thought was, “Oh no… not again. What now?” Inside, I was already preparing to explain myself, defend myself, or say, “You don’t understand the whole situation.” More than once, however, after I had time to think and pray about what was said, I realized that the person was not trying to hurt me. Quite the opposite. That person cared enough about me to tell me something I needed to hear.
Those moments have taught me something important: one of the greatest acts of love is sometimes to tell someone the truth—and one of the greatest acts of humility is to be willing to hear it.
That is exactly where the Word of God takes us this Sunday. In the first reading, God appoints Ezekiel as a watchman for Israel (cf. Ezekiel 33:7-9). In the ancient world, the watchman stood on the city wall, looking for approaching danger. His responsibility was to remain awake and sound the alarm. If he saw danger and remained silent, he had failed the people entrusted to his care.
In one way or another, all of us are watchmen for someone. Parents have a responsibility toward their children, spouses toward one another, friends toward their friends, and priests toward the people entrusted to their pastoral care. Yet being a watchman does not mean becoming a policeman of everyone else’s life. St. Paul gives us the key: “Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another.” Christian correction must always come from love. If I speak simply to prove that I am right, that is not love. If I remain silent simply because speaking the truth is uncomfortable, that may not be love either.
Jesus then shows us how such love should act: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone” (cf. Matthew 18:15-20). Notice what Jesus does not say. He does not say: tell your friends, tell the neighbors, put it on Facebook, or send it to the group chat. He says: go to your brother. Alone.
How much hurt in our families, friendships, and even church communities could be avoided if we followed those few words! Instead of speaking to one another, we so easily speak about one another. A hurt becomes a complaint, the complaint becomes a story, and soon something that might have been healed quietly has wounded many people. In my 25 years as a priest, I have seen this happen more often than I wish. I have also learned from my own mistakes that avoiding a difficult conversation rarely makes the problem disappear. Sometimes a few honest words, spoken quietly and with charity, can prevent weeks or even years of misunderstanding. I am still learning this myself.
This is precisely the way Jesus teaches us in today’s Gospel: speak directly, privately, humbly, and with love. Most importantly, remember the goal: “If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.” The goal is not to win the argument. The goal is to win back the brother or sister. Perhaps this is also why the Psalm tells us: “If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts” (Psalm 95: 8-9). Sometimes God’s voice reaches us through someone who loves us enough to tell us something we would rather not hear.
The Word of God this Sunday therefore invites us to examine our own hearts: Is there someone I need to speak to with greater courage and love? Is there something someone has been trying to tell me that I have been too proud to hear? The next time someone approaches me and says, “Father, may I tell you something?” my first instinct may still be, “Oh no… what now?” Yet before I defend myself, perhaps I should stop and pray: “Lord, could You be trying to tell me something through this person?”
May the Lord give us the courage to speak the truth with love, the humility to receive the truth without hardening our hearts, and the grace always to seek not to win an argument, but to win back a brother or sister.
Faithfully yours in Christ,
Msgr. “John” Cuong M. Pham

Queridos hermanos y hermanas,
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
Queridos hermanos 

Dear brothers and sisters,
Queridos hermanos y hermanas,
Dear brothers and sisters,
Queridos hermanos y hermanas,